I was hesitant to write this...

I've been hesitant to write this particular Blog. Mainly because for the better part of my life when something good happened something equally bad or worse has happened. But, what the hell right?  I'm just going to throw caution to the wind and say that I started attending school. A massage therapy and spa course. When I decided to do this and started to slowly tell people around me I couldn't believe the overwhelming negative responses I received.Most people cant understand why I want to do this. 


As you may or may not know I have my Reiki one and two atunements. *Reiki  is a form of bodywork and energy medicine that uses energy channeled through a practitioner's hands to restore health and a sense of well-being. Id  like to incorporate this into massage therapy to help heal people both physically and on emotional /energetic level. For more information on Reiki I found a nifty little site or you can just google it.


I've been working in machine shops and factories for my entire adult life. Not as a passion,  just to pay the bills. Id like to have a second job that's something I love to do and make some money doing. Plus id be helping others Feel better.so whats not to love?! 


I've started going to school during the day and work later at night. Its only been a few days but I can already see its going to be tough road balancing work, school, and  family obligations. I am up for the challenge as scary as it  seems. If I don't do this now ill always be finding excuses why not to do it and it' ll never be the right time. So that's it ! With a little luck and determination ill be a licenced massage therapist next year. I  just want a better quality of life for myself and my family and I hope I have their full support. Though im doing this with or with out it. 




*http://www.traditionalreiki.com/basics/basic.html

Back to the Workouts and staying positive

Its been a full week since my abdominal hernia surgery. I went to the doctor and got the green light to start doing my normal routine. So,I decided its time to make up for lost time and start working out again. I began yesterday and I can really feel how much weaker I've gotten in a month of not working out! That's alright though  I'm back at it again and will be in shape for the summer.  I've decided to drop my gym because i just cant afford a  60 dollar a month bill on top of supporting a family of 4 on one income.  I started  working out at home and so far so good although I am looking into a cheaper gym one that's 24 hours and i can go to straight after work. I am still a little apprehensive on lifting anything too heavy and messing up my stomach again so I am concentrating on workouts that include more cardio and using my own body weight as resistance at least for now. Things like burpees, alternating squats, shuffles, close grip push ups, sumo squats, inchworms, bicycles and mountain climbers. 

Everything is looking up and I'm working  hard on staying positive. Its a lot harder than it seems. I never realized just how "half empty" my outlook on life has been. Anyways I cant let my mistakes and failures ruin what I'm going for. I'm a work in progress both physically and mentally. I accept that every day isn't going to be easy  but, I'm not going to give up on being a more positive happier person. Still trying to follow this dream.....wish me luck!  

On my mind...a Promise.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how often I've passed up opportunities, jobs, life experiences, and even romances because of fear. Fear of failure, fear of letting people down, fear of what others will think of me, fear of making a mistake, fear of looking foolish. Its been a constant reoccurring theme in my life. Fear keeps me from living my life, from following dreams, from becoming the man I want to be. 

For the first time in a long time I feel like I should follow a dream, take a chance, a leap of faith. Even if it means I fall flat on my face. I don't want to wake up one day an old, gray, bitter man who  looks back upon a life filled with regrets.

 For a really big chunk of my life I've lived by the notion that if you don't try you don't fail. I realize now how limiting and hurtful this view of the world has really been on me. How many potentially wonderful experiences I have missed out on simply by not trying.

 I've gotten in the way of my own happiness, of my own success for far too long and its time for this to stop. I will not just settle for less because I'm afraid to try. This whole thing reminded me of something I read a while back ago in the famous self help book "the Secret" here it is:

I Promise Myself...

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, hapiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Christian D. Larson 1912

R.I.P Ipswich.

Ipswich our parakeet died early this morning of an illness he got like three days ago.I woke up this morning tried o get directions for a vet in Palmer ma. When i looked into his cage he was at the bottom dead. It really sucks and I'm pissed off that I didn't take him sooner.  He was doing so good and we were taking good care of him. Changed his water daily, he had toys to play with, and he had a lot of time outside of his cage perched up on our shoulders. I even you tubed Parakeet calls for him to listen to while I was online. If there's something we did wrong with him I cant think of it. He seemed to be getting better, he started eating and playing with his toys again. I thought he was on the road to recovery. Then he last night he looked awful. I'm going to miss the little guy. No more pets for a while I cant keep losing animals I care about. Some people may think its stupid that I get attached to my pets faster than people but I don't care. I care about animals plain and simple. I brake for them in the car and even stop the car to help  turtles cross the road. Here are some pics of Ipswich and I :

                                                        

My Pet, My Friend, I'll Miss You

Tis a sad time in our lives

You have left us here to mourn

Be missed, that is for certain

Many tears are bound to flow

Take this Angel to guide you

Sleep well, much peace, My love

My Pet, My friend, I'll miss you

Rest in Peace, for ever more

poem from:
http://www.pocketangels.com/guardian-angel-my-pet-my-friend-ill-miss-you-pocket-angel/)

Mail surprise form IRS and more....

Yesterday I went to the mailbox and received what I thought to be my money from my taxes in the mail. Upon closer inspection of the letter I realized it was a bill a bill thats over a 1,000 dollars!! Apparently someone in the IRS must have entered the info with their elbows or something. Its called a  CP 2000 letter. Its unneeded stress right now but we are working on getting everything straightened out. 

On top of that my new parakeet is sick. I'm looking into a avian vet because the vets around here don't do birds. So hopefully the poor guy makes it until I can find one. Hes a good bird and was just starting to hang out outside of his cage and on our shoulders. I hope he makes it, I get attached to my animals really quick and get really upset when they pass... My fingers are crossed for my parakeet Ipswich. I already lost my rabbit of over 4 years randomly. I don't want to lose another pet.  

Work went well, minor pain form the surgery. I'm on light duty for 2 weeks till I heal up completely.That's it and its only Tuesday. Hopefully optimistic for the rest of my week. I hear we may get a snow storm this week. Hope we don't.